on life, love and living with a drill sergeant

Well first off I wouldn’t call him a drill sergeant, because he isn’t. He is a retired drill sergeant.


It all started like this, I was happy once. Maybe it was before I was born, where ignorance was really bliss but I’m sure at that time I was happy.


Truly happy, not like the smiling faces fake rendition of happy you see in print and on TV.

Yes I was happy.

Then I was born. In my opinion we are all happy until we are born, then we have to live with life until we die, where once again (much like the time before our births) we are ignorant and happy.

Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like had I lived it differently; had I been born in different circumstances what would I be like. Would I be smarter, nicer, happier, or would the human spirit prevail and shape me into the person I am today whether I had an easier life or not.

Can I even say I know who I am right now as a person? If I can’t say that can anyone.


Can our pasts shape our future so considerably, that something done as children can alter our lives so much that our future could be entirely different as adults than it would have had we not done that thing to begin with.

Getting back on track here if there even was a track to begin with, who am I?
Is that even a question that we as humans have the ability to answer?
I’m sitting here in this house that will never be mine, living with this family that will never be mine, trying to get through this life that may never have been mine and I am asking myself who I am.

How did I end up here, was I meant to be right here in this place at this time?

What can I do to change my life and put myself on a better path?

Let’s go back in time to my past, because that is where all the action is. I truly believe that from birth I was unhappy. It was not that I was an unhappy child, but perhaps that I lead an unhappy life.
From before I can remember my life was very unstable. There were so many things that happened to me as a child that I could not talk about, or share as I got older.

to be continued another time.....